If I'm not in the center of attention I'm nowhere

Confession #1 

Where I am from it is considered cool to hate your life. When you whine and moan about something, people seem to like you better. The smart ones know that people feel this way because it makes them feel better about themselves. When you get dealt the bad cards in life you have more to talk about. I tell people about how misfortune my life is. I know this may make me seem like a bad person, from building misconceptions to make myself seem more relatable. What can I do? My friends are complaining all the time and I can’t say I disagree with them therefore I make stuff up to expand on the conversation. 

So I have a confession to make. 

I love life. I don’t hate it like I tell others. I love it. 

I love life in ways I can’t always explain. Life, in all its chaos, feels like a series of tiny miracles. I love the challenge of growth, the beauty of new beginnings, and even the bruises that remind me I’m still here, still learning. E

very day, life offers something new, a hidden grace waiting to be found, and I want to embrace it all. Even in the ache of uncertainty, there’s a sweetness, a quiet promise that tomorrow holds something worth waiting for. Life is an unpredictable gift, and I am in love with it. 

I will never understand people who don’t love life. It is the only thing you have and it is not to be complained about nor dreaded. It is to be cherished and worshiped as it is yours and only yours. 

From Anonymous 

New Zealand, 30

Confession #2

Sometimes, I pretend not to care about things that actually mean a lot to me. It’s easier that way, I guess—keeping everything on the surface so no one sees how deep it really goes. I’ll act like it doesn’t matter when plans get cancelled, or when I’m left out, but truthfully, it hurts more than I let on. I laugh off rejection, criticism, and those casual dismissals, but they stick with me for days, bouncing around in my mind like they’re trying to settle somewhere I can’t ignore.

The strange thing is, I’m not sure when I started doing this. Maybe it’s a defence mechanism. Maybe it’s easier to fake indifference than admit how much I actually feel. Because once I let people know I care, it feels like I’m giving them a map to all the places they could hurt me. So instead, I shrug it off, crack a joke, or change the subject—anything to avoid showing how much it actually stings. I tell myself that not caring keeps me safe, that it makes me seem stronger, but the truth is, it just leaves me feeling isolated.

I think about it at night sometimes, how much I hold back—how I pretend things roll off my back when really they dig in and stay there. I wonder what it would be like to just be honest, to tell people when they’ve hurt me or how much certain things matter to me. But I don’t. I keep playing the part, telling myself it’s easier this way, even when I’m not sure it is.

From Anonymous

Britain, 26

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Confession #3 

I love being the center of attention. I won’t lie about it—it gives me a rush. When people are watching me I feel alive. I’ve gotten good at it, knowing exactly what to say or do to keep everyone focused on me. But it’s not always fun. The second I’m not in the spotlight, I feel this emptiness, like maybe I wasn’t interesting enough, or people have already moved on to someone else.

Today, I was telling a story about a road trip I went on with some friends. Everyone was hanging on to every word, laughing at all the right moments. I felt like I had the whole room in my hands. But after the story ended, people started talking to each other, and I was left standing there. It felt like I went from being everything to nothing in seconds. Suddenly, I was overthinking—was my story really that funny? Did people actually care, or were they just being polite?

Later, I caught myself jumping into other conversations, trying to stay relevant, even though I didn’t really have anything to add. I agreed to plans I didn’t want to go to, just to make sure I wasn’t forgotten. It’s exhausting, this constant need to be seen. And yet, I don’t know how to let it go. I hate how much I need the attention, but when I don’t have it, I feel like I’m fading into the background, and that scares me more than anything. If I’m not in the centre of attention, I’m nowhere. 

From Anonymous,

Canada, 20

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